If only I could
by GCont
Summary: If only I could make a deal with God, and get him to swap or places. Songfic. Rated T for mild implied character's death.


_And if only I could,  
make a deal with God,  
and get him to swap our places._

"Oh my God! Help! Somebody help me, please!"

I quickly kneel down next her, frantically looking around and screaming for someone to help, but the only thing I can see through my blurred vision is the shape of the guys running away from the place.

If only I had listened to her explanation.  
If only I had stayed there instead of running away in the middle of the night.  
If only I hadn't stumbled upon those guys.  
If only I had realized she was following me.  
If only she hadn't come in between them and me.  
If only they hadn't had a knife.  
If only she had avoided the sharp blade.  
If only I hadn't been stupid and reckless.  
If only she were fine, instead of lying on the ground clutching her stomach.

"Tori." Her voice snaps me out of my running thoughts.

I look helpless at her, my vision slightly blurred. She looks so pale, her hands and dark shirt soaked in blood, her blood. Her voice is weak and I know I have to do something.

I shove my hands in my pockets trying to find my phone, but not succeeding at remembering I left it in my purse at Jade's house. I know she doesn't have her phone either; Cat had accidentally dropped juice on it that same morning.

I don't know what to do, everything's happening so fast. One minute we were watching a movie, the next we were arguing over some stupid thing and the next she's here in front of me breathing so dangerously slow.

My tears are falling down my face almost as if they were a pair of waterfalls. I can't stand this sight. I can't.

"I'm so s-sorry." That's the only thing I manage to say between my tears and sobs and I'm not sure if she heard me or understood.

"No… As long as you're okay." Her voice is getting weaker, it's almost a whisper.

"No, no, no, Jade. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I lay down close to her. I don't care if it's a filthy ground, I don't care if it's starting to rain, I don't care if I those guys come back. I don't care at all about anything. I just care about Jade and I want her to be fine.

_Be running up that road,  
be running up that hill,  
be running up that building._

I wrap my arms around her and bury my face on the collar of her shirt. She's not that warm anymore, not even including the fact she has her jacket on. She wraps and arm around me, pulling me closer. I close my eyes; I want this to be a dream. I want to wake up and see that smile she only does for me.

I can hear her heart beating against her chest, it's too calm. She's too calm. I look up to look at her and I see she has her eyes closed.

"Jade?" She doesn't react. "Jade?" I say a little more loudly. Her eyes open slightly and I can see that her bright eyes are starting to look dead. I take a deep breath, trying to even my voice. "Please, stay awake. Talk to me. Say something."

"What?"

"I don't know. I just- I just want to hear you."

By the way her arm is wrapped around me, I can tell she's in pain, but she's always strong. She's the strong one, not me.

"I love you."

"I love you too." I try to stay positive, but right now, it's starting to seem impossible.

I know we have our rough moments but I don't want to lose her. Not this way, not right now, not ever. I love her too much.

The water falls on us, our hair and clothes getting wet, the drops of water mixing with my tears and washing away her blood slowly. She presses her lips softly against my forehead, and I can't help but release another sob as I move closer to her almost seeming as if I want to be her.

As a matter of fact, I want to be her. I want to be the one in her place.

I feel her arms loosening around me and I move to see her again, her eyes look tired, she looks tired. I desperately seek her lips with mine as if that'd make any of my thoughts and wishes true.

There we lay on the ground, rain falling on us, clinging at each-other for dear life, lips pressed, and only one thing popping in my mind.

_If only I could._


End file.
